“You will never feel truly satisfied by work until you are satisfied by life”
~ Heather Schuck ~
Client Karen Asks: I feel like I’m being pulled in all directions at once. My boss wants higher productivity, my family wants more time with me. Is balancing work and a personal life hard to do for most people?
Coach Joel Answers: It’s becoming an increasingly common problem in today’s hyper-competitive world. In a survey conducted by Strategy One, a global research and consulting firm they found that 89% of 1,043 Americans they surveyed state that work/life balance is a problem for them.
If you’re feeling out of balance right now, I recommend you shift your mindset with these ideas:
- Accept that you can’t please everyone. If you try, the only person who ends up not being pleased is you!
- Remember that you and your needs are important. Ask yourself: where do I need to be in order to get my needs met right now?
- Set boundaries and stick to them. Your boundaries will protect you when work becomes challenging.
- Keep your expectations of yourself realistic. One of the great myths of all time is that “You can have it all.”
- Underpromising will help you take off some of the pressure. Don’t try to be a hero or a superstar. Stop trying to look better than your colleagues.
Obviously, you have a challenging career. That makes it almost inevitable that you’ll find yourself consumed in work. There are several ways you can prevent this from getting out of control.
- Set goals and priorities for both your personal and professional life. This will help you decide how to dedicate time and energy to both sides of your existence.
- Develop some new and exciting personal interests.
- Determine what situations at work or at home you can and cannot control.
- We’ve already mentioned boundaries. Learn to say “No” when requests go beyond your boundaries or don’t fit with your goals and priorities.
- When you feel like your work/life balance is getting out of control, talk to your boss and discuss ways you can regain balance. Most companies realize that a happy employee is a more productive employee.
Very few companies expect their employees to have no life outside of work. Those that do find themselves with a high frequency of burnout, increased health care costs due to stress, and excessive turnover. Having a perfect work and life balance is seldom possible. But making thoughtful adjustments along the way can help you achieve a reasonable compromise.
Read through the lists in this article again and write down five things you’re not doing now that would help bring more balance to your life. Implement at least one of these a week for the next five weeks and the reevaluate how you feel.
Talkback: Do you feel in balance more than out of balance? What are your strategies for creating and maintaining work-life balance?
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“I absolutely believe that people, unless coached, never reach their maximum capabilities.”
~Bob Nardelli, former CEO, Home Depot.~
Elizabeth asks: How can I tell if I need a life coach, a personal coach, or an executive coach? Is there a difference?
Joel answers: The kind of coach you need depends on the area in your life you want to focus on. As I explain the differences between life, personal and executive coaches, you’ll see what I mean.
- Executive coaching focuses on helping the person achieve more at work. It may deal with peer relationships or communication. It might help the worker advance in his or her career or understand how to add value to the company.
For example, Nathan felt like he was ready to take on more responsibility at work, but felt “stuck.” He had always avoided what he called “office politics” and just did his job. He didn’t know how to position himself to get promoted.
When Nathan hired an executive coach, the coach helped Nathan to verbalize his goals. Together they set up a strategy so Nathan could broaden his visibility and increase his influence.
He looked for places he could add value to the company and was soon in line for a promotion.
Executive coaching is about personal discovery, goal setting, planning, and achieving. This benefits both the individual and the organization.
- Life coaching views the person as a whole. It includes work and may cover stress and overworking, but it also covers family and personal goals.
The goals set for a person working with a life coach may be internal- feeling better, better relationships or dealing with bad habits.
Karen was shouldering all the responsibility of caring for her elderly parents. While there were other siblings close by, they chose to let Karen handle it all since she worked from home and could be “flexible.”
Karen chose a life coach to help her balance her work and family responsibilities and also deal with the emotional burden of resentment toward her siblings.
The life coach helped Karen see options and choices. Through her support, Karen was able to call a meeting with the siblings, establish responsibilities, and share her burden.
- Personal coaching is much the same as life coaching. While the goals of an executive coach are specific, measurable, and focused on improvement and success in the work environment, personal coaching is based on empathy.
It is more reflective, allowing for introspection and for the person to grow in self-understanding. Personal coaches can be used as a sounding board and a cheering section.
However, some personal coaches also work with clients on their business, financial, or spiritual concerns.
As you examine your primary goal you’ll be able to determine the kind of coach you need. If you are looking for measurable action to conquer work challenges, choose an executive coach. If you have personal, family, or life concerns with internal or less measurable goals, you may find a personal or life coach will support your needs better.
To learn more about executive coaching and see if this is a good fit for your concern, contact Joel and he’ll be happy to talk to you about it.
Talkback: How have different coaches helped you resolve your concerns? Which kind of coaching has been most effective for you?
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