Help for the Introvert Personality:
How to Get Your Needs Met at Work

Introvert Tag

“You know you’re an introvert when you get excited about cancelled plans.”

~ Anonymous ~

Ryan is at a crossroads in his career. He’s been with the same company for five years, working in IT as a programmer. He gets along well with his co-workers and his manager thinks he’s doing a great job. Lately, however, he’s started to wonder if he should look for a change. He’d like to move up in the company, but all the hot jobs with great prospects are in sales. There’s a sales job that’s just been posted and he’s thinking of applying. But he feels uncomfortable every time he thinks about it. His brain is going in circles so he decides to call his business coach and run the idea by her.

Ryan’s coach asks him a number of questions about what the new job would look like. Would he be spending a lot of time on the phone, making calls and setting up appointments? Would he have a lot of tight deadlines and pressure to meet sales targets? Would he be working independently or would he be part of a team? Would he be in a position to do a lot of networking, attending meetings and public events? Ryan answers “yes” to all her questions.

“Clearly you have an introvert personality,” she told him. “All these activities that you’re describing generally make introverts very uncomfortable. It’s certainly possible for an introvert to succeed in some types of sales jobs. But before you decide to take your career in a whole new direction, I think there are three things you need to do:

  • Be yourself
  • Find your niche
  • Learn to compensate.

Ryan decides to do some further research and self-analysis before he makes a decision. If you’re contemplating a job change, you might want to follow these steps as well.

1. Be yourself. When you’re interviewing for a new job, whether it’s with your present company or a brand new management job, don’t be tempted to fake it. A job interview is where a potential boss or employer gets to know the “real you.” It’s his or her opportunity to see if you’re right for the job. But it’s not a one-sided deal. It’s also your opportunity to be who you are and see if the job is right for you. If you like to work independently, with little or no supervision, don’t brag about your teamwork skills!

2. Find your niche. A recent study conducted by CareerBuilder found that extroverts were more likely to rise higher in management ranks, by 22 percent compared with 18 percent of introverts. “The data does indicate that extroverts may be better suited for higher-level positions, many of which involve a lot of collaboration and public speaking,” says Rosemary Haefner, vice president of human resources at CareerBuilder. “But that doesn’t mean an introvert can’t still rise high in a company. It may be the case that many of the respondents began as introverts and gradually became more extroverted as the situation demanded.”

Here’s the key question to ask yourself: How comfortable will I be as an introvert in extrovert’s clothing? Can I play that role for an hour a day? Eight hours a day? Every day? Is this a skill I want to learn or am I going too much against the grain?

3. Learn to compensate. If you’re already in a job that’s not exactly your cup of tea, or if you’re contemplating a new opportunity that may take you outside your comfort zone, develop a game plan. First of all, be honest with your boss and your co-workers. If you’d enjoy setting up the trade show exhibit, volunteer to take that on if someone else will make the follow-up calls.

Pace yourself and don’t get into stimulation overload. That’s a sure loser for any introvert personality. If you’ve spent all day meeting with clients, skip the happy hour festivities with the gang and take a solo walk or do some yoga instead. If you’ve had a week of high-pressure deadlines, spend your weekend in low-key activities rather than shopping and socializing.

After some soul-searching and in-depth conversations with his boss and his human resources department, Ryan decides to develop an upward mobility plan in IT. He takes on some new projects and starts to develop his management skills so he’ll be ready to move up when the opportunity occurs.

Knowledge is power. Know yourself. Know your strengths and your weaknesses. Know what you want and how much you’re willing to change to get it. As Ricky Nelson crooned in his hit song, Garden Party, “You can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself.”

Are you wondering if a job or career change is right for you? Contact Joel today. He can help you sort through your options and make the right decision.

Talkback: Are you an introvert in an extrovert world? Have you developed some coping strategies that work? Share your ideas here.

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What’s the Difference Between a Life Coach, A Personal Coach and an Executive Coach?

Life Coaching

“I absolutely believe that people, unless coached, never reach their maximum capabilities.”

~Bob Nardelli, former CEO, Home Depot.~

Elizabeth asks: How can I tell if I need a life coach, a personal coach, or an executive coach?  Is there a difference?

Joel answers:   The kind of coach you need depends on the area in your life you want to focus on.  As I explain the differences between life, personal and executive coaches, you’ll see what I mean.

  • Executive coaching focuses on helping the person achieve more at work.  It may deal with peer relationships or communication. It might help the worker advance in his or her career or understand how to add value to the company.

Executive coaching helps turn managers into leaders, increases job satisfaction and reduces job stress.  This coaching focuses on the relationship between the client and his or her work situation.

For example, Nathan felt like he was ready to take on more responsibility at work, but felt “stuck.”  He had always avoided what he called “office politics” and just did his job. He didn’t know how to position himself to get promoted.

When Nathan hired an executive coach, the coach helped Nathan to verbalize his goals. Together they set up a strategy so Nathan could broaden his visibility and increase his influence.

He looked for places he could add value to the company and was soon in line for a promotion.

Executive coaching is about personal discovery, goal setting, planning, and achieving. This benefits both the individual and the organization.

  • Life coaching views the person as a whole.  It includes work and may cover stress and overworking, but it also covers family and personal goals.

The goals set for a person working with a life coach may be internal- feeling better, better relationships or dealing with bad habits.

Karen was shouldering all the responsibility of caring for her elderly parents.  While there were other siblings close by, they chose to let Karen handle it all since she worked from home and could be “flexible.”

Karen chose a life coach to help her balance her work and family responsibilities and also deal with the emotional burden of resentment toward her siblings.

The life coach helped Karen see options and choices. Through her support, Karen was able to call a meeting with the siblings, establish responsibilities, and share her burden.

  • Personal coaching is much the same as life coaching.  While the goals of an executive coach are specific, measurable, and focused on improvement and success in the work environment, personal coaching is based on empathy.

It is more reflective, allowing for introspection and for the person to grow in self-understanding.  Personal coaches can be used as a sounding board and a cheering section.

However, some personal coaches also work with clients on their business, financial, or spiritual concerns.

As you examine your primary goal you’ll be able to determine the kind of coach you need.  If you are looking for measurable action to conquer work challenges, choose an executive coach.  If you have personal, family, or life concerns with internal or less measurable goals, you may find a personal or life coach will support your needs better.

To learn more about executive coaching and see if this is a good fit for your concern, contact Joel and he’ll be happy to talk to you about it.

Talkback: How have different coaches helped you resolve your concerns?  Which kind of coaching has been most effective for you?

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Square Pegs in Round Holes:
Career Choices for Introverts

Square Pegs in Round Holes

“Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.”

~ Criss Jami ~

Client Emily Asks:  I feel totally out of place and uncomfortable in my job. I’m a marketing manager for a major entertainment company and I’m surrounded by people who are constantly running in high gear and bouncing off the walls. I get so stressed out, some days I just want to crawl into a hole. I know I’m an introvert and I think I need a total career makeover. But I’ve invested a lot of myself in getting ahead with this company and I hate to blow it off. What should I do?

Coach Joel Answers: Taking a close look at your level of job satisfaction is never a bad thing to do. Based on your description, I’d say you’re probably an introvert in a career that’s populated by extroverts. Statistics tell us that 12-25% of people in the general population are true introverts. The rest are either partial or total extroverts. If that’s true, then it’s easy to see why you feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. Here are three things you could start doing immediately to change your situation.

• Evaluate
• Plan
• Train

1. Evaluate. Take a close look at who you are vs. where you are.  Think about your strengths, passions, interests, and hobbies. Perhaps you love to read, write in your journal, listen to music, take walks, and play with your dog or cat. You probably thrive on solitude and feel drained if you spend too much time with other people. If you’re in a high pressure, hyperactive job, you should determine if your “quiet” needs can be met on that job or if you can get enough alone time off the job to feel satisfied. For example, can you close your office door and work on your own a good share of the time? Can you eat lunch away from the crowd, spend an hour alone at the gym or taking a solo walk?

Evaluate your company as well. Since you’ve put in a lot of time and energy there, see if there’s a way to stay with the company in a position that allows you to work more on your own and less with other people. You may want to talk to your boss or someone in HR to lay the groundwork for a possible job change, even if it’s a lateral move.

2. Plan. Changing careers or even jobs is not like buying a new pair of socks. You need a solid plan, a step-by-step process to get you from Point A to Point B. The first step is to look at your career thus far (marketing) and see what jobs within that field might be a better fit. For example, could you shift into graphic design or market research—both careers that allow you to spend a lot of time flying solo.

If you feel that a job change within your current field is not possible or practical, then you may want to plan for a complete career change. Test yourself, first of all, to get a clearer picture of what specific career fields might be a good fit. There are many internet sites that offer free self-analysis tests and career recommendations. You may want to work with a career coach who can help you cut through some of the clutter and develop a solid plan. You could also invest in one or more career guides or workbooks that could provide valuable insights.

3. Train. You may choose a short term solution, such as staying in the same company or field but in a new job. If that is your choice, see what training opportunities the company might offer, either in-house, on line, or perhaps even a subsidized degree program. If you design a longer-term plan that involves a complete career change, what will it be? People on the introvert side of the spectrum lean toward professions such as law, accounting, research, or technology.

The bottom line is this: what will make YOU happy? What can you do now to feel more fulfilled, more excited, and more of who you really are? When you have answers to those questions, you’ll be on the right path toward a fulfilling career.

If you’re feeling stressed or out of place in your current career, Joel can provide you with helpful advice and direction. Contact him today. 

Talkback: Have you made a career change that worked for you? Or have you found ways to get more of what you need in your current job? Share your experience here.

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