“You will never feel truly satisfied by work until you are satisfied by life”
~ Heather Schuck ~
Client Karen Asks: I feel like I’m being pulled in all directions at once. My boss wants higher productivity, my family wants more time with me. Is balancing work and a personal life hard to do for most people?
Coach Joel Answers: It’s becoming an increasingly common problem in today’s hyper-competitive world. In a survey conducted by Strategy One, a global research and consulting firm they found that 89% of 1,043 Americans they surveyed state that work/life balance is a problem for them.
If you’re feeling out of balance right now, I recommend you shift your mindset with these ideas:
- Accept that you can’t please everyone. If you try, the only person who ends up not being pleased is you!
- Remember that you and your needs are important. Ask yourself: where do I need to be in order to get my needs met right now?
- Set boundaries and stick to them. Your boundaries will protect you when work becomes challenging.
- Keep your expectations of yourself realistic. One of the great myths of all time is that “You can have it all.”
- Underpromising will help you take off some of the pressure. Don’t try to be a hero or a superstar. Stop trying to look better than your colleagues.
Obviously, you have a challenging career. That makes it almost inevitable that you’ll find yourself consumed in work. There are several ways you can prevent this from getting out of control.
- Set goals and priorities for both your personal and professional life. This will help you decide how to dedicate time and energy to both sides of your existence.
- Develop some new and exciting personal interests.
- Determine what situations at work or at home you can and cannot control.
- We’ve already mentioned boundaries. Learn to say “No” when requests go beyond your boundaries or don’t fit with your goals and priorities.
- When you feel like your work/life balance is getting out of control, talk to your boss and discuss ways you can regain balance. Most companies realize that a happy employee is a more productive employee.
Very few companies expect their employees to have no life outside of work. Those that do find themselves with a high frequency of burnout, increased health care costs due to stress, and excessive turnover. Having a perfect work and life balance is seldom possible. But making thoughtful adjustments along the way can help you achieve a reasonable compromise.
Read through the lists in this article again and write down five things you’re not doing now that would help bring more balance to your life. Implement at least one of these a week for the next five weeks and the reevaluate how you feel.
Talkback: Do you feel in balance more than out of balance? What are your strategies for creating and maintaining work-life balance?
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“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.”
~ Epictetus ~
When Connor walks into a room, all eyes turn toward him. He commands a presence that is unmistakable. He projects confidence, and people instinctively trust him. He speaks with authority.
Connor has executive presence.
As I describe the traits that Connor and other successful leaders possess, ask yourself: Where do I stand? What do I do well? What needs improvement?
If you have executive presence, you have an aura or magnetism or charisma that draws others to you. You’re a compelling force inside your organization or work group. When you speak, people listen, feel inspired and uplifted. You convey confidence, are respected as an authority, know how to create impact, provide value and know how to get noticed.
Think about your peers, your bosses, other executive leaders, famous people and your friends. Who has EP? Who doesn’t? Executive presence is your secret to your success. Exploit your potential. Your own greatness. It all comes from executive presence.
You can cultivate executive presence through training and practice. You’ll know you’re making progress when you:
1. See the Big Picture.
You’re a strategic, “big picture” thinker who doesn’t become mired down in tactics. You think “outside the cubical” and take a whole company perspective when solving problems or seeking new opportunities. You’re able to communicate in financial terms to show your worth where it matters most – the company’s bottom line.
2. Are Willing to Take Risks.
You capitalize on ambiguity and change. Leaders are revealed and careers are made for those able to navigate stormy seas. You challenge yourself and stretch your capabilities. You’re able to conquer self-doubt and break through self-imposed limitations by seeking out opportunities to move beyond your comfort zone.
3. Develop Strong Interpersonal Skills.
You build confidence, trust and credibility by speaking clearly and persuasively. You think and act more like a leader than a manager. As a leader, you’ll inspire and motivate others by advocating what’s best for the organization, not just your work group. And, when you’re successful, you’re willing to share the limelight with others.
4. Focus on the Things that Matter Most.
You improve your productivity, influence and reputation for high-level achievement when you focus on the things that matter most. Not only will you be a peak performer, you’ll maintain a healthy balance in your life.
5. Constantly Seek to Improve Yourself.
You find personal fulfillment and professional success by capitalizing on your strengths and minimizing your mistakes. You encourage feedback to demonstrate your passion for self-development and desire to contribute to your company’s success. You increase your growth potential by investing in the most important asset you possess – yourself.
Developing your executive presence may seem like a daunting task. There is a lot of work involved, but it’s the kind of work that will have far-reaching, long-lasting benefits. You will become more motivated, you’ll learn how recognize and promote your own value and you’ll develop a meaningful and effective career plan. These are all things you can accomplish on your way to becoming a better leader.
If executive presence is something you need to work on, consider taking advantage of Joel’s executive presence coaching services, and start developing traits that will make you stand out in any leadership role.
Talkback: Do you know someone whose presence makes them stand out? What about you? Is this an area you need to work on?
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“The challenge of work-life balance is without question one of the most significant struggles faced by modern man.”
~ Stephen Covey ~
Recently a client, Jillian, confessed to me, “I find myself working 60 or more hours each week. I have no time or energy for anything other than work. I don’t see my family, I don’t have time for friends or hobbies and I feel completely overwhelmed. I want more time and fulfillment in my life. I would rather divide my time between work, nature, people in my life and travel as opposed to oozing out meager samplings of these between work.”
This is a common concern. People are working more hours than ever. They make a good income and are able to afford more material possessions, but at the expense of their happiness and satisfaction. The balance they seek is difficult to achieve.
As Jillian stated, she’s unhappy, exhausted and creatively starved.
What can be done? Here are six tips:
1. Begin by simplifying your life.
Look at all of the things that you tolerate that only serve to limit you and drain your energy. Make a goal to systematically eliminate them all from your life.
2. Make an appointment with yourself.
This week make an appointment by marking your calendar and keeping the appointment with yourself as you would an appointment with your most important client.
3. Examine what you want from your life and what is standing in your way.
Look at what unwanted energy drains you need to remove from your life to make this happen. Do you need to pay off credit cards? Do you need to simplify your living situation? Can you incorporate a more flexible schedule so that you can have more time for fulfillment? Can you take a time management or organizing seminar so that you use your time more effectively? Brainstorm and see what comes to mind. Make a plan with concrete action steps with deadlines and follow through.
4. Get support.
Talk to friends and colleagues to see if they are going through the same situation and help each other brainstorm solutions. Enlist the support of a coach to help you set and achieve practical goals and regain balance.
5. Celebrate even the small triumphs of your life.
We often become so absorbed in accomplishing tasks or to-do lists that we overlook opportunities to experience joy and satisfaction.
6. Notice where you focus your attention.
Carlos Castaneda once said, “The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” Take this quote to heart. Write is down and tape it to your computer screen or bathroom mirror.
Then, every morning, ask yourself: “What am I going to emphasize today?”
Why be miserable, when you can make yourself strong!
Talkback: Are you sacrificing your home life to get ahead at work? What challenges do you face trying to find the right balance?
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