“There is no substitute for hard work.”
~ Thomas Edison ~
Client Susan Asks: I thought I was going to get a nice bonus… and then it didn’t happen. How can I set myself up for a really well-deserved bonus?
Coach Joel Answers: Susan, you know of your worth and value. You’re adding to the company and you can see your contributions. So the key is to maximize your contributions, quantify them, and share them. Let’s discuss each one.
1. Understand Your Unique Skill Set. Stop and think about your combination of talents, skills, and personality. There are some things you do better than anyone around you. This gives you one-of-a-kind attributes. So evaluate what they are. Perhaps you:
- Offer effective ideas
- Build consensus
- Warn of hidden problems
- Work hard
You may want to ask co-workers what they see as your strengths. Once you understand these skills, build to your strengths.
2. Focus on Adding Value. You want to find that sweet intersection where your skills can add the most value to the company. Look for ways you can measurably increase the company’s bottom line. Find a way to connect the dots between your work and the business’s profit. That will help you… and others see your true contribution.
3. Gather Information to Prove Your Case. Keep track of what you do. Note projects completed and how you’ve helped the company. See if you can find statistics that show your hard work. You may also collect praise and commendations from co-workers, subordinates, and bosses.
4. Hedge Your Bets. Don’t assume you know what it takes to qualify for a bonus… or that others know about your work. First, learn your company’s policies about bonuses. Do they have written criteria? Is it up to the boss? If so, discuss it with him or her. You need to know what you must do to qualify.
Second, consider why they may not want to offer you a bonus. Did a group project not do as well as expected? Did you have a change in leadership and they may not know your track record well enough? After you look at possible roadblocks, take the time to overcome those objections. Be prepared to explain or come up with a work-around the limitation.
5. Insure Others Know Your Good Work. Don’t be pushy or obnoxious about self-promotion. On the other hand, you must make sure others know what you are doing. They need to understand the value you are bringing to the workplace. Your mentor should know of your work.
Discuss current projects with your boss and co-workers. Send emails to keep them in the loop. As you keep them up to date, they’ll see your valuable work.
Then, when bonus time comes around, you’ll be in line to get the bonus you deserve.
Want to insure you get a bonus? Contact Joel for personal help to advance your career and win that bonus.
Talkback: What have you found that helped you get the bonus you wanted?
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“If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself.”
~ Henry Ford ~
Client Paul asks: One of my coworkers recently told me I’m hard to approach at work. It felt like kind of a blow, since I’ve always thought of myself as being a nice person. How can I change this impression my coworkers have of me?
Coach Joel answers: Paul, developing good relationships is a key part of succeeding at work, yet it’s often neglected. Do you ever have days where you keep your nose to the grindstone, churning out work—and feel like slamming shut your door on anyone who dares interrupt? This kind of attitude actually hurts your own productivity as well as your organization’s. Building good working relationships will help you become a more effective leader, boost your chances of promotion, enhance teamwork, and make you a happier person. These 8 daily habits will help you get there.
1. Communicate clear goals and expectations.
When you communicate clearly—and follow through—you show you’re a trustworthy person. Set clear goals and benchmarks for what you’ll accomplish in projects and your overall job performance, and help those you supervise to do the same. Choose the best medium for your communications, too. If sharing a complicated list of instructions, share it by email or as a hard copy in addition to going over it in person.
2. Share appreciation for others.
Noticing others’ contributions, large or small, will give them a more positive image of you. If others are feeling constantly judged or critiqued, it will be difficult for them to engage in creative, collaborative thinking with you. Knowing they are valued will help them share ideas more freely. Sharing your appreciation also conveys a positive attitude, which exudes confidence in your team.
3. Spend one-on-one time with team members.
Getting to know coworkers will help you develop good relationships at work. The one-on-one time also promotes openness and collaboration. Go to lunch with someone from a different department, who might have skills that will be useful for a future project. Have coffee with a coworker you haven’t developed a rapport with, and find out what you have in common. Just knowing you care enough to make this time will help break the ice.
4. Address interpersonal problems directly.
If tension is brewing or you have a difficult relationship with a co-worker, address it at the source before the problem gets bigger. If you feel that a team member is not pulling his weight, voice your concerns to him and state your expectations. Keep your tone calm and professional, and give him time to explain his perspective. Through direct communication, you may discover that the real problem is that he doesn’t understand his role, or that he’s wearing too many hats in the organization. Confronting the communication difficulty directly is one of the quickest ways to create good working relationships.
By adopting these daily habits, you’ll increase your coworkers’ respect and confidence in you. . Fortunately, they’re called “habits” for a reason—as you start doing these things on a daily basis, you’ll naturally remember to do them in more situations and with more of the people you encounter.
Try using at least two of these habits per day for the next week. Take notes on how people respond, and email Joel with follow-up questions about your results.
Talkback: Have you found these tips useful in your workplace? Do you have others you’d like to share? Post your ideas below!
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” Gender equality is more than a goal in itself. It is a precondition for meeting the challenge of reducing poverty, promoting sustainable development and building good governance.”
~ Kofi Annan ~
Client Julia asks: I’ve tried to find a mentor in my company, but most of the higher-level managers are men, and the way they lead groups doesn’t come naturally to me. Am I just not leadership material?
Coach Joel answers: Julia, you just need to tap into your own strengths as a leader. Empirical research shows that women tend to have a range of strengths that make for a great leader. Women aren’t yet getting equal rewards for these strengths—according to Harvard Business Review, only 3% of Fortune 500 CEOs are women, and just over 5% of executives in Fortune 500 companies are women. However, many qualities women leaders tend to possess are aspects of transformational leadership, which is fast becoming recognized as the most effective leadership style. Transformational leadership motivates employees by helping them find self-worth through the work they do.
That being said, many qualities associated more strongly with men can make for an effective leader as well. The best skills for the job always depend on the context. Both men and women should look at the range of qualities that can make for a great leader, and decide which ones to nurture in themselves, depending on their career goals and personal strengths.
1. Communication Styles
Women tend to have a more cooperative, participatory style of leading. Men tend to have a more “command and control style,” according to the American Psychological Association. They’re more task-oriented and directive, while women are more democratic. That’s often the starkest leadership difference between male and female bosses: Men provide direction for their employees, while women encourage employees to find their own direction. The cooperative style involves more conversation and listening, which often takes more time but leads employees to feel more valued. Both styles are valuable in different contexts. Being highly task-oriented can be highly beneficial where safety is concerned, for example.
2. Reward Systems
Women often motivate their employees by helping them find self-worth and satisfaction in their work, which serves as its own reward. This is a core part of the philosophy of transformational leadership: Help employees find their identity in the work that they do, so it’s more than just a job. Men are more likely to use the transactional leadership approach of providing incentives for succeeding and penalties for failing. Of course, either gender can learn to succeed in either of these leadership styles. Differences in leadership between male and female managers can work in tandem, too, as transactional leaders can ensure accountability while transformational leaders motivate and inspire.
Men tend to be good at branding themselves, meaning they let others know about their successes and strengths. Women are more likely to be modest or silent about their own accomplishments. To succeed as a leader, women should learn to brand themselves by sharing their achievements and skills with others. After all, it’s hard for a person to advance as a leader if people don’t notice what she’s capable of. Branding also brings a leader more respect in her current position. Volunteering for high-profile projects and finding a respected advocate are other great branding strategies that men are often more likely to use than women.
Again, it’s not that people of either gender make better leaders. The reality is that differences between male and female leadership styles can broaden a company’s pool of creativity and innovation. This enhances the success of any company when both men and women are promoted to high-level positions. Whichever gender you are, identify the distinct skills you bring and how to use them to get noticed by potential or current employers. The business of placing women in leadership needs to become a top priority.
Next time you’re in a meeting or talking one-on-one with someone you supervise, take note of which communication, reward systems, and branding styles you use. What comes naturally, and where could you improve? Email Joel for tips on which skills to hone for your career path.
Talkback: Do you feel that your leadership skills are related to your gender? Or do you use skills that aren’t typically associated with your gender? Share your experiences here.
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“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph”
~ Thomas Paine ~
Client Martina Asks: Lately, my office has become Conflict Central. We can’t have a meeting without someone leaving in a snit because his or her idea was rejected. There’s a lot of door slamming and loud voices. People who used to socialize together after work aren’t even speaking. Worst of all, our productivity is in the tank. As a team leader, I feel some responsibility to do something about this. I’d like to be the person who turns the team around and gets our projects back on track. What do you suggest?
Coach Joel Answers: Conflict has become a way of life in many organizations. In fact, a whole industry has been created around training people how to resolve conflicts. Just Google “conflict resolution” and you’ll see what I mean. But a lot of these tried-and-true, theoretical methods are not particularly effective. Some people thrive on conflict and love to create more of it. If you have one or more of those on your team, your job is going to be challenging.
How about this? Instead of seeing conflict as a negative, a big problem to be solved—how about looking at conflict as an opportunity to become even better than you are?
Martina seemed unconvinced but willing to go along—for a while anyway. Here’s the outline of actions steps that Joel and Martina put together.
- Step 1: Develop an internal support team. Gather around a table with a few team members who you know are not happy with the current situation and would welcome an opportunity to be part of turning it around. Look for people who are open to using conflict as an opportunity to get better, not just a problem to be solved.
- Step 2: Clearly define the problem. The problem is NOT that Joe’s a jerk who won’t go along with anything; or the work load is too heavy; or the boss’s expectations are unrealistic. Just as married people seldom fight about the budget, work teams seldom fight about the work load. What they both want is control. The problem is that nobody yet is able to see conflict as an opportunity and share control to build a better organization. It’s your job to show them how.
- Step 3: Make your adversaries part of the solution. Not everyone will see the possibilities. However, you must, first of all, respect those whose opinions differ from yours. Invite them in. Give those who are willing to work together a seat at the table and get everything out in the open. During this kind of communication, the key ground rule is “no argument.” The key tool is listening and letting the other person know he or she has been heard. My book about Difficult Conversations provides a lot more detail about how this technique can work for you.
- Step 4: Capture ideas and pick the top 5. Every person at the table will have ideas. Some will have merit; some will not. Make sure that your brainstorming session doesn’t deteriorate into an “us against them” free-for-all. Choose ideas from all different perspectives, ideas that are positive and will forward the action, not short-term solutions that will put a band-aid on an open wound.
- Step 5: Team up to move up. Take your top five ideas and let each team member choose to be part of an implementation team that puts one of those into action. Develop a timeline for completion and an interim schedule for progress reports.
In short, the secret to conflict resolution is not “Can’t we all just get along?” The secret is giving people a project to work on where their ideas and creativity are respected and where they can see the results of their efforts.
What’s the biggest conflict in your workplace right now? Start making a list of steps you can take personally to turn this conflict into a big step forward for your team and for the company. Joel has helped many of his clients do exactly that. Email him today to discuss possibilities.
Talkback: Have you successfully turned a conflict into an opportunity? We’d love to hear how you did it. Share your experience below.
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“A bad habit never disappears miraculously. It’s an undo-it-yourself project.”
~ Abigail Van Buren ~
Client Mitch Asks: I’ve just finished getting the results of my annual 360 review, and boy, am I discouraged! You would not believe the stuff people said about me. They say I’m causing the team to miss deadlines because I put things off until the last minute. The truth is, I work a lot better under pressure. The stress just makes me kick it up a notch and that’s when I get really creative. And around here, deadlines are missed all the time. Why am I to blame? Right now, I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop—there’s a pink slip in my future. I’m sure of that. If everybody says about me is true, who would want me around anyway? Guess I’d better polish up the old resume.
Coach Joel Answers: Let’s take a step back here. I know performance reviews can be pretty upsetting, but they can also present an opportunity. Here’s another point of view you might consider. From what I heard you saying, I can pinpoint at least three self-defeating habits that are probably what’s behind all that unfavorable feedback. Here’s my short list of damaging habits. If you can break these, I’m sure you can turn things around.
- Catastrophic thinking
1. Procrastinating. You say you work best under pressure, but what is that pressure really costing you in terms of stress? Not to mention the poor image you’re projecting to your co-workers. Here’s the nugget for breaking any habit: you can’t just say, “I’m going to stop procrastinating.” You need to replace that negative habit with a positive one. For the next month, try starting every day at work by doing your hardest task. If it’s calling clients, do that first. If there’s a major project on the horizon, create an outline of what you need to do and take the first step. Once you’ve made a start, the rest of your day or your project will fall into place more easily.
2. Rationalizing is a way of excusing ineffective behavior. Actually, it’s a lie you tell yourself in order to preserve your self-esteem and give yourself permission to keep doing what you’re doing. You say you’re more creative under pressure. How can you replace that thought? Give yourself permission to be creative when you’re not under pressure, when you can actually enjoy the process. Let’s say you have a major client presentation coming up and you need a PowerPoint deck. Slow down. Take a relaxed half an hour to experiment with color palettes and designs. Do an Internet search for videos you could import. Your end result will be far more creative than something you throw together at the last minute, without time to visualize the end result or its effect on your client. And you won’t have to make excuses for missing deadlines or turning in a mediocre project.
3. Catastrophic thinking. You say there’s a pink slip in your future? That’s carrying one negative review to the extreme. Think about the language you’re using when you talk to yourself about this issue. Do you hear extreme words like, “never,” or “always?”
“Nobody wants me around. I’ll never find another job. I always get blamed when thing go wrong.” Right now, your team is seeing you in a negative light. If you want to build more positive relationships, you need to take action.
Instead of buying into your destructive self-talk, make a list of ten things you do really well, ten successes you’ve had in this job or in previous jobs. Write these down and re-read the list every time you catch yourself going into catastrophic mode.
And last but not least, commit to this change strategy by sharing it with your boss. Let her know that your 360 review was a great wake-up call because it showed you some changes you need to make. Tell her what those changes are and what you plan to do about them. Set up an appointment to review your progress in 30 days. Nothing will hold you accountable like sharing your commitment with someone else. There’s real power in public declaration.
Do you have some self-defeating habits you need to turn around? Email Joel today for some suggestions.
Talkback: Have you successfully replaced a bad habit with a good one? Share your turnaround strategy here.
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