Why Strong Leaders Have the Courage to Show Vulnerability

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“A great leader needs to love and respect people, and he needs to be comfortable with himself and with the world. He also needs to be able to forgive himself and others. In other words, a leader needs grace.”

~ Leo Hindery, Jr. ~

Bill did his best to model fearlessness, capability, and decisiveness for the people he supervised—all the qualities associated with strong leadership. In all his interactions with them, though, they seemed anxious and afraid. In meetings, he could never seem to spark a robust discussion—they would just give lip service to his questions. He couldn’t understand why they acted just the opposite of the example he tried to set.

Bill didn’t realize that his attitude of invincibility was not actually setting a good example. Rather, playing the part of the fearless leader was stifling discussion and creativity. He was forgetting that success requires risks, and when taking risks, a leader is by nature in a place of vulnerability. His attitude that failure is not an option masked the reality that we all risk failure when we reach toward high goals. Pretending he was invincible showed his deep fear of failure, which is a weakness, not a strength. Like Bill, if you want to become a strong leader in your company, have the confidence to believe that even if you do fail on any one project, you’ll bounce back and succeed in the future. When strong leaders show vulnerability, it projects this confidence to the world.

That doesn’t mean you should walk around griping about your insecurities all day. Rather, just be comfortable enough in yourself to show you know you’re far from perfect, and learn to view mistakes and weakness as learning opportunities.

1. Being authentic

When you show your vulnerabilities, you are being authentic, and that helps others to see you as trustworthy. In other words, let people see your whole self rather than picking and choosing the aspects you want them to see. People can tell whether you’re being authentic or not, particularly when you work with them every day. When you’re authentic with them, they’ll learn to trust you more rather than feeling that on some level you’re deceiving them.

2. Creating a culture of openness

Talking about your own mistakes will help the people you manage and work with to feel comfortable talking about theirs too. This will help create a culture of learning from mistakes by examining, with honesty and transparency, what went wrong. The whole group will then learn from each individual’s experiences, rather than everyone keeping things bottled up inside.

Further, this culture of openness will help your team understand the full history of a project, rather than just knowing it succeeded or it failed. The team will understand how each decision played a part in reaching the final outcome.

Likewise, be transparent about what’s happening with the company, and if you don’t know something, say so. When employees know you’re doing your best to keep them informed, they’ll trust you more.

3. Making team members feel needed

A leader who’s afraid to be vulnerable might fear that if an employee is more intelligent or capable than him in certain ways, that employee might upstage him. A vulnerable leader has let go of the need to be the mastermind behind every decision. Remember that you don’t have to know how to solve every problem to be a good leader. You need to know how to find and nurture the people who do. Don’t feel threatened by their abilities—recruit them actively, and provide them with the mentorship and incentives that will help them succeed. Give team members meaningful responsibilities with opportunities to use their own creativity, and let them know you appreciate that they can do things that you can’t.

4. Being easier to work with

If you’re hard to approach at work, imagine how much energy it takes for people to confront you about their concerns. That energy would be much better spent on team projects than on this unnecessary stress. Being the first to admit your shortcomings makes you more approachable, and it shows insight and self-awareness. It also makes problems easier to correct, allowing work to flow more smoothly. Sharpening your communication skills by learning to listen actively, use open body language, and stay fully engaged will help you make the most of these conversations.

5. Learning to grow

Strong leaders proactively ask for feedback, which puts them in an inherently vulnerable position. They might sometimes feel dismayed by the feedback they receive, but they realize this feedback provides a valuable opportunity to grow. By going outside of your comfort zone to ask for this feedback, you’ll move beyond the limitations that a false sense of invulnerability can impose.

As you become a stronger leader by showing vulnerability in these ways, your team members’ trust and respect for you will grow. Relax, take a deep breath, and let your ability to work with your own imperfection shine.

Make a list of five ways you can show your vulnerability with people you supervise. Try doing one every day over the course of a week. Do you notice a difference in how team members relate to you? Email Joel to discuss your results.

Talkback: Have you ever had a boss who was good at showing vulnerability? Did it help you to grow as an employee? Share your experiences here.

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Difference between Male & Female Leadership

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” Gender equality is more than a goal in itself. It is a precondition for meeting the challenge of reducing poverty, promoting sustainable development and building good governance.”

~ Kofi Annan ~

Client Julia asks: I’ve tried to find a mentor in my company, but most of the higher-level managers are men, and the way they lead groups doesn’t come naturally to me. Am I just not leadership material?

Coach Joel answers: Julia, you just need to tap into your own strengths as a leader. Empirical research shows that women tend to have a range of strengths that make for a great leader. Women aren’t yet getting equal rewards for these strengths—according to Harvard Business Review, only 3% of Fortune 500 CEOs are women, and just over 5% of executives in Fortune 500 companies are women. However, many qualities women leaders tend to possess are aspects of transformational leadership, which is fast becoming recognized as the most effective leadership style. Transformational leadership motivates employees by helping them find self-worth through the work they do.

That being said, many qualities associated more strongly with men can make for an effective leader as well. The best skills for the job always depend on the context. Both men and women should look at the range of qualities that can make for a great leader, and decide which ones to nurture in themselves, depending on their career goals and personal strengths.

1. Communication Styles

Women tend to have a more cooperative, participatory style of leading. Men tend to have a more “command and control style,” according to the American Psychological Association. They’re more task-oriented and directive, while women are more democratic. That’s often the starkest leadership difference between male and female bosses: Men provide direction for their employees, while women encourage employees to find their own direction. The cooperative style involves more conversation and listening, which often takes more time but leads employees to feel more valued. Both styles are valuable in different contexts. Being highly task-oriented can be highly beneficial where safety is concerned, for example.

2. Reward Systems

Women often motivate their employees by helping them find self-worth and satisfaction in their work, which serves as its own reward. This is a core part of the philosophy of transformational leadership: Help employees find their identity in the work that they do, so it’s more than just a job. Men are more likely to use the transactional leadership approach of providing incentives for succeeding and penalties for failing. Of course, either gender can learn to succeed in either of these leadership styles. Differences in leadership between male and female managers can work in tandem, too, as transactional leaders can ensure accountability while transformational leaders motivate and inspire.

3. Self-Branding

Men tend to be good at branding themselves, meaning they let others know about their successes and strengths. Women are more likely to be modest or silent about their own accomplishments. To succeed as a leader, women should learn to brand themselves by sharing their achievements and skills with others. After all, it’s hard for a person to advance as a leader if people don’t notice what she’s capable of. Branding also brings a leader more respect in her current position. Volunteering for high-profile projects and finding a respected advocate are other great branding strategies that men are often more likely to use than women.

Again, it’s not that people of either gender make better leaders. The reality is that differences between male and female leadership styles can broaden a company’s pool of creativity and innovation. This enhances the success of any company when both men and women are promoted to high-level positions. Whichever gender you are, identify the distinct skills you bring and how to use them to get noticed by potential or current employers. The business of placing women in leadership needs to become a top priority.

Next time you’re in a meeting or talking one-on-one with someone you supervise, take note of which communication, reward systems, and branding styles you use. What comes naturally, and where could you improve? Email Joel for tips on which skills to hone for your career path.

Talkback: Do you feel that your leadership skills are related to your gender? Or do you use skills that aren’t typically associated with your gender? Share your experiences here.

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Seven Ways to Sell Your Ideas to Management

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“If you want to get across an idea, wrap it up in a person.”
~ Ralph Bunche ~

Being able to influence upwards allows your ideas to be heard and implemented. This directly enhances your value because you are the owner of that idea. Yet how do you break through the layers of bureaucracy to find advocates for your ideas? Diane McGarry, Xerox’s Chief Marketing Officer, says, “Success at a big company such as Xerox requires an understanding of the many layers of office politics as well as the confidence to put your best ideas forward. You have to know which people you need to get your ideas in front of in order to get those ideas advanced…”

Diane knows how to present her ideas in order to get them implemented. This is a skill you need to master if you want to be an influential leader in your company. Here are seven ways to sell your ideas through upward influence:

1. Know what’s important to your boss.
Have a clear picture of what is important for your boss. Keep that as a priority and make sure these priorities are met. It’s not about trying to meet your needs, but thinking about how your ideas are beneficial for your boss. Part of your role is to support your boss for his/her goals.

2. Get other stakeholders on board
To buy into your ideas the right stakeholders must be on board. This might require going upward and across the organization to build coalitions. If your stakeholders believe the ideas you are suggesting are what they want to support and invest in, this can influence a decision in your favor.

3. Articulate a clear and defined goal.
Focus on why your idea is so important and should be considered. What is the desired end result? This may take a lot of preparation, but in the end your idea will be easier to sell if you provide realistic projections of the desired outcome.

4. Use facts and data.
How many dollars will be generated by your idea? How will it reduce costs or improve customer service? Facts like these are how you achieve buy-in to your ideas. Spend time researching and providing information based on data so it will have a greater chance of being accepted.

5. Be prepared to answer questions and respond to criticism.
Anticipate how others might question or challenge your proposal. Consider submitting a list of “frequently asked questions” with your idea. If you’re presenting in person, rehearse your sales pitch to fine tune your approach and build your confidence.

6. See yourself as the “owner” of your ideas.
See yourself as being self-employed, even if you work in a large company. Your mind-set should be similar to an entrepreneur who is the owner of his or her ideas. Be confident, and enthusiastic about your idea.

7. Don’t give up.
Don’t be discouraged if someone slams the door on your terrific idea. Maybe your timing wasn’t right or you didn’t consider some of the objections. Take stock in your approach and ask for feedback. If your idea has merit, its time will come. And so will yours.

Do you need help selling your ideas to your superiors? Joel’s executive coaching program provides an individualized action plan to help you reach your specific career goals. Click here to see how it works.

Talkback: Do you have great ideas but lack the confidence to pitch them to management? What are the stumbling blocks that keep you from gathering the courage to make a presentation?

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Business Leadership Program – 6 Skills you MUST Teach

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“Promotion means finding new ways of being successful- and walking away from the old ways that defined success.  A leader who tries to be the same leader across all levels is not going to be successful at all.”

~ Matt Pease, DDI Vice President ~

Client Jamie Asks: There are many people in my organization that could benefit from increased executive presence. What should I look for in a business leadership training program? What skills can I expect my people to gain from such a program?

Coach Joel Answers: This is an important step. Your executives and those you are grooming for leadership need to have a whole company perspective. To be successful they must move from a tactical day-to-day approach to a more strategic overview. Here are six skill sets you’ll want your business leaders to develop.

  1. Step away from the day-to-day. There’s a saying: When you’re up to your ankles in alligators, it’s hard to remember you’re here to drain the swamp. Executives face many compelling day-to-day problems that can eat up all their time. Help your executives learn how to set aside a specific part of their day to reflect on ways they and their team can contribute to the company’s bottom line.
  2. Look at the big picture. It’s no longer enough to excel in your area. You need a clear view of how your work contributes to the overall success of the company. Get your program to help your leaders elevate their sights.
  3. Gain self-confidence. This is a mind game, but it’s based on past performance. People need to know they are doing a good job. A key training program will help your leaders assess their past ideas and work. This builds self-assurance which will give then that executive presence that makes people want to follow them.
  4. Do the work. Find a program that focuses on teaching skills that give real, measurable results. People need to deliver on the high profile jobs they are given. When they manage every project so their work shines, they demonstrate their abilities to co-workers and supervisors. And it gives your people confidence they have the necessary skills to perform at that high level.
  5. Recognize and seize opportunities. Part of situational awareness is looking beyond current tasks. What else needs to be done? Is there a gap that someone is not filling? Can you take the initiative?  Successful executive training courses help with the mind shift necessary to look beyond the average and take those opportunities.
  6. Focus on solutions. Far too many people spend lots of time discussing the problems. They may lament the shortcomings or complain about the problem. Good leadership seminars will show people how to find solutions.

Jamie, you are wise to look at training your leaders from within. You already know their work ethic and they know the company culture. But leaders don’t just grow on their own.

They need extra and different skill sets. They need a professional to coach and train them to perform at their optimum level. The abilities that have grown them to this point are not sufficient to get them to the top. Unless you train them in those new ways of thinking and acting, you will not help them acquire that executive presence.

Of course you and I both know it can’t be a façade. It can’t be for looks. That leadership, that executive presence has to be backed by a history of success and by skills and vision.

If you need one or two people to gain these skills, I recommend individual coaching. If you want a group of people to grow, a business leadership course can be brought to your executives and tailored to their challenges and the needs of your company.

For more information on how Joel can help your leaders gain that executive presence, contact him.

Talkback: Have you found programs that were successful in developing your leaders?
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9 New Leader Essentials – Get Up & Running Fast!

“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.”

~ Lao Tzu ~

Dennis felt excited at this new recognition. He’d just been asked to take a considerable promotion.  He wasn’t new to leadership, but this was certainly a new position.  A stretch. He was moving into a position of greater responsibility. He now had five teams to oversee. Some of the people he didn’t even know.

Dennis knew in order to succeed at this new job, he needed extra preparation.  He didn’t have a lot of time to be up and running.  He had to learn the essentials of this new leadership position right away.

One of his first steps was to Google “first 90 days as a leader online resources.” There he found articles and resource books. “I wanted to follow the principle of ‘Be. Know. Do’,” said Dennis. “I didn’t want to shoot from the hip.”

To get himself up and running in the shortest amount of time, Dennis decided to focus on these qualities.

BE

  • Resilient.   Every leader will face some opposition. He needed to be prepared for a lack of agreement with his vision and direction.  Also, managers, especially new leaders, make mistakes.  That’s part of the risk taking.  It’s why they were hired to lead.  Dennis realized he needed to accept that mistakes and failures were part of the job.  The important thing was to be resilient.  Keep going.  Keep confident.  Keep motivated.
  • Unique.  Dennis was not hired to do the same old thing.  “I needed to recognize my unique strengths and abilities,” Dennis said. “I bring my own brand, my own personality to the mix—and that’s a good thing.” Dennis knew he was good at cross-pollination, bringing ideas and methods used in other industries and finding applicability in his area.
  • Thoughtful.  The last leader had been autocratic.  Dennis wanted to thoughtfully consider the merits of every team member’s ideas.   He expected to research—online, and with company resources—to thoughtfully asses the strengths and limitations of the choices. “I wanted to avoid the ‘ready, fire, aim’ I saw in some management,” Dennis said.

Know.

  • Vision.  Dennis needed to know the course he wanted to go.  He had to have a clear vision of his position, his responsibilities, and his goals.
  • People.  There were many new people for Dennis to get to know.  He wanted to understand their strengths, their personalities, their attitudes, and how they fit with the teams.
  • Culture. Even though Dennis was pretty familiar with the corporate culture, this new position put him in a different aspect of it.  He needed to learn what was expected of him in as a leader in this particular place.

Do.

  • Lead with Confidence.  “Once I determined I was the kind of leader I needed to be, and I knew what I needed to know, I wanted to lead with confidence,” Dennis said. “I wanted my people to feel confident I knew what I was doing.  I wanted them comfortable following me.”
  • Set an Example.  Dennis liked leaders that led by example.  He wanted to make sure all his actions were impeccable.  “If I asked my people to do something, I wanted them to know I was willing to do it too,” Dennis said. “I had skin in the game.”
  • Embrace Change.  Dennis works in an evolving industry.  It is constantly changing.  Rather than being reluctant to move in a new direction or cling to established ways, Dennis determined to embrace the change and lead the way.

Dennis implemented his plan.  He used online resources freely and felt that he learned new leader essentials faster than he had anticipated.  “I’m glad I put in the work early on,” Dennis said. “It really paid off.  I feel comfortable in my position and I’ve heard feedback that my workers respect me.”

Just landed your dream leadership position? Contact Joel to learn the new leader essentials that will launch you to success.

Talkback: What have you found most helpful as a new leader? What tips or techniques would you recommend?