“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.”
~ Anna Freud ~
When Your Inner Voice Keeps Telling You “No”
Client Suzanna Asks: Sometimes I think I am my own worst critic. I constantly catch myself thinking, “That wasn’t good enough” or “You really screwed up this time.” How can I turn this around?
Coach Joel Answers: Self-evaluation can be a positive experience. It helps us learn, correct our mistakes and improve our performance, as well as the perceptions others have of us.
According to psychologist Terry Paulson, it’s estimated that a typical person makes 300 to 400 self-evaluations every day.
That’s a lot of opportunities for self-improvement.
But here’s the rub.
Dr. Paulson says that, for most people, 80% of these self-evaluations are negative!
It’s almost impossible to maintain a positive attitude at work when your inner voice is constantly hammering you for “messing up.” After awhile, self-doubt erodes your confidence and you’ll be tempted to avoid speaking up or taking risks. Instead, you decide to keep a low profile.
Employees with low profiles are less likely to get promoted or assigned key, career enhancing projects. And, when the economy heads south, they are more likely to be laid off.
That’s why it’s important to challenge your critical inner voice.
Here are a few ways to do it:
1. Keep Your Antenna Up.
Be aware when your inner voice is saying “no.” Ask yourself, “Why?” Try to discover the “real” reason you’re being self-critical.
2. Conduct an Impromptu Risk Assessment.
If there is risk involved, ask, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Clearly, your instincts might be right and your inner voice is trying to keep you from making a horrendous mistake. But, if the nay saying becomes habitual, the real risks may not be as great as you think.
3. Rely on a Mentor or Trusted Colleague.
If you’re not sure that your inner criticism is justified, get a second opinion from a mentor or someone you trust. For example, let’s say you wanted to speak up at a meeting, but your “gut instinct” told you “no.” So you remained silent. Ask your mentor, “I wanted to tell the department head that I thought his idea would hurt customer service, but I was afraid to. Was I right? What would you have done?”
4. Celebrate Your Successes.
Some self-criticism is justified, but can you possibly be wrong (as the statistics suggest) 80 percent of the time? Celebrate those instances when you challenge your inner voice and something positive results.
5. Learn From Your Mistakes.
Obviously, you’re bound to make mistakes when you take risks. Instead of bashing yourself about what went wrong, concentrate on what you learned from the experience and how you’ll handle similar situations in the future.
6. End Each Day on a Winning Note.
Dr. Paulson suggests concluding each day by “catching yourself being effective.” He also says to “use your calendar to record one success. You may be winning and not know it if you’re not keeping score!”
When you can minimize the self-criticism, you can be more confident in who you are and what you are capable of doing. With this confidence you’ll trust yourself more and have the conviction to believe in your ideas. You’ll speak up no matter someone’s title, superiority or influence.
If your inner voice is holding you back from doing the things you know you need to do to get ahead, Joel’s career advancement coaching program may be the answer for you. Click here for more information.
Talkback: Is your inner voice overly critical? How do you overcome the negativity and remain confident in your abilities?
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“The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity.”
~ Ayn Rand ~
Tammy is good at her job, but her career doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. She has been in the same position for two years and is ready to move up to the next rung of the ladder. One of her co-workers was just promoted to the position she wanted, and now she wonders if she will be stuck in her current position forever.
Getting a promotion requires more effort than merely doing your job and being good at it. Supervisors want to see that you are qualified for the new position, not the one you are already doing. You must stay alert for opportunities to advance or to move laterally to broaden your skills and position yourself for future success.
If you are like Tammy—good at your job but not quite ready for a promotion—here are five tips to help you get out in front of your competition so you are the first person your supervisor thinks of next time there is an opportunity for promotion:
1. Express Your Interest
Let your supervisor know you’re ready for new challenges and want to play a role in any expansion efforts. As companies look for growth opportunities, they will form task forces, study teams and interdepartmental committees. Tell your boss you want to be a participant, not a bystander.
2. Stay on Top of Current Events
Stay alert of your company’s growth plans by reading its news releases and annual and quarterly reports. Get copies of executive speeches and reports from investment firms that follow your company. Then brainstorm how you and your skills can contribute to the success of these ventures.
3. Write Your Own Marketing Plan
If you see an opportunity to market a new product or service, grow your company’s existing portfolio or increase client service, create your own marketing plan. Do your homework, crunch the numbers and write up a proposal to present to your boss or senior management. Even if you fail, you’ll reap dividends from the exposure and gain the reputation that you want to play a bigger role in the success of your organization.
4. Take Advantage of New Training
As companies loosen their purse strings, they’ll also be investing more in training and development. Visit with your supervisor or human resources department to find out what new skills you need to improve your effectiveness and promotability.
5. Network, Network, Network
Keeping your nose to the grindstone is admirable, but it will also pay to get away from your computer and stay actively involved with your network. Keep on top of what other departments and divisions are doing, what their plans are, and how you might fit in.
As your company gears up for growth, find ways to increase your visibility and to showcase your talents to decision-makers in your organization. When in doubt, look for problems to solve. That’s one of the effective ways to get noticed, appreciated and promoted!
If you really want to move up the career ladder quickly, a top-notch executive coach like Joel Garfinkle can help you reach your goals twice as fast. If you’re serious about getting ahead, sign up for executive coaching with Joel today.
Talkback: How long have you been in your current position? Are you ready for a change? What do you need to work on to position yourself for your next promotion?
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“There is no such thing as a self-made man. You will reach your goals only with the help of others.”
~ George Shinn ~
Client Dena Asks: In their book, The Five Patterns of Extraordinary Careers, James Citrin and Richard Smith concluded that, “People with extraordinary careers do not claw their way to the top, they are carried there.”Where can I get the support I need to help me reach my career goals?
Coach Joel Answers: Support from others is a valuable commodity in any situation, but it’s a necessity when you navigate the corporate landscape. Without it, you risk being stuck in your current position indefinitely, overlooked for promotion and passed by others who are well connected and better supported.
How can you find others to help “carry” you?
Cultivate and take advantage of these five key resources:
Supporters show an interest in you and your career and invest the time to explain what it takes to advance within the company and get the job you want. They help you get ahead by providing resources, insights and knowledge. They also serve as role models for top-notch executive behavior and presence. Supporters can provide feedback, criteria and expectations to help guide you along a clear path toward success.
A confidant is someone with whom you are comfortable disclosing information about your experiences at work. Because these discussions often involve fears, frustrations and your innermost doubts and concerns, a confidant must be completely trustworthy. This kind of trust takes time to develop, but it starts with taking risks and being willing to share. Confidants are there to listen, to provide honest feedback and to support you as you face major challenges.
Like a supporter, a mentor provides specific information and guidance to help you improve your performance and productivity. You will, however, have a closer relationship with a mentor. This individual will take a personal interest in your career and play a more active role in helping you meet your goals for advancement and professional success. To ensure your mentor is unbiased, it’s helpful if he or she comes from a different department.
The difference between mentors and advocates is a matter of degree. Both can provide feedback, information and encouragement. However, a mentor will not necessarily get directly involved in promoting your career. Advocates, on the other hand, will actively champion your cause to their peers (and even supervisors) in the company. Advocates encourage your growth and challenge you to reach higher levels. They know your key accomplishments and are acutely aware of your potential for future success. Armed with this information, advocates campaign on your behalf, create visibility with senior management and directly assist you in advancing up the organization.
5. Executive Coaches
In addition to supporters, mentors and advocates, another effective source of support is the executive coach. Executive coaches are to business professionals what master musicians are to aspiring performers: they guide the thriving careers of their clients to help them reach the peak of their abilities. Executive coaches have the expertise, techniques and tools to assist you in achieving what you most want in half the time. They provide honest and objective third party feedback and help you develop the skills and mindset you need to move beyond limitations, resistance and self-doubt.
They can help carry you to the top.
The obvious goal in seeking supporters, mentors, and advocates is to secure help with professional development and future promotions. But the underlying objective is to form alliances with those peers and superiors who want the best for you. In the process, they will encourage your growth and challenge you to reach higher levels within the company.
Are you building a support team to help you get ahead at work? Start by hiring a top-notch executive coach. Joel Garfinkle can create a cusomized executive coaching program that is tailored to helping you reach your goals.
Talkback: Have you started building your support team? Who will help carry you to the top?
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“Financial rewards follow accomplishment; they don’t precede it.”
~ Harry F. Banks ~
A client of mine, Lance, has been with his company for ten years. He works hard and gets his work done. Management knows he is consistent, reliable, and loyal. They’re happy with the status quo. Unfortunately, my client is not.
He is ready to make the change. He’s tired of being taken for granted. He wants to get paid appropriately and get promoted. So he must overcome his current perception as a “reliable workhorse.”
If you’re like Lance, you can’t just hope that you’ll get the reward down the road for all your hard work. Instead, you must take control of your career and stop hiding out.
Here are some tips to get you started if you’re not sure how to go about getting a promotion at work:
1. Make a list of all the things you accomplished in the last year.
For each accomplishment, try to assign a dollar amount on how it benefited the company. That way you’ll be able to prove your worth during your next performance evaluation or salary review.
2. Proclaim your achieved results.
If you get good results and your clients like your work, it’s important to spend time proclaiming the achieved results. Even if it takes longer to document the results so the key people in management see what it took to get the results (effort, steps, process, details, etc.), they will appreciate who you are and what you have accomplished. The key is to not wish for more recognition, but to start being an incredible advocate for yourself.
3. Make your results more perceivable.
Your results will become evident when they are communicated in an easily understood way. The more the break down the result into its many parts, the perceived value will be seen as higher.
4. Know how you are being perceived.
Every time you communicate, think about how are you will be perceived – in meetings I attend, emails I create, conference calls, interact with client or upper management.
5. Be seen as a valuable resource and get others to appreciate what you do.
Your company needs to know all the things you do and how each accomplishment provides something that benefits the company. If they don’t see the value in what you are doing when you communicate it, it isn’t relevant. The more they know, the more they appreciate the work you do.
6. Stop perpetuating the perception management has of you.
Make a list of how you are currently being perceived by top management and your peers. For each negative perception, write down how you would like to be viewed. Then, carefully monitor your behavior at work to make sure you are reinforcing the positive traits, while deemphasizing the negative ones.
7. Educate your management about what you do and what your position is in the company.
Often management just sees your position as a commodity that is replaceable. They take what you do for granted. Educate management about how valuable your position is and all the things you do in making your job work as well as it does. As you educate them, they will begin to alter how they view the entire position (e.g. marketing, sales, programmer, and project manager) of what you do.
8. Become a communication expert.
Communication skills are one of the most important skills considered when determining who will be hired or promoted. Joining Toastmasters is a good way to improve your communication skills and get used to addressing groups of people with confidence.
9. Constantly think about how management will value what you just did.
How will management value this? How will management hear this so they will recognize it contributes to the bottom line?
10. Stretch yourself to be different so you stand out.
Management is used to you being who you are. Stretch yourself in ways that can impact perception. If you are used to being quiet at meetings, speak up. If you speak up at meetings, hold back and only speak when you have something really important to say.
11. Get clients to share how great you are.
When you do something positive for a client, ask them to speak up on your behalf by writing what they appreciate and then sharing this with your management. You can explain how management isn’t fully aware of the work you are doing so it would be good for them to know what you did. If you can do this 4-6 times a year, it will start to influence how management views you.
If you’re ready to start working on that next promotion but aren’t sure how to proceed, Joel has a coaching program that can help. Sign up for Joel’s coaching for career advancement and implement the techniques Joel teaches to accelerate your career growth.
Talkback: Is it time for you to move up to the next level in your career? What steps will you take to make it happen?
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“To find a career to which you are adapted by nature, and then to work hard at it, is about as near to a formula for success and happiness as the world provides. One of the fortunate aspects of this formula is that, granted the right career has been found, the hard work takes care of itself. Then hard work is not hard work at all.”
~ Mark Sullivan ~
Client Christopher Asks: I’ve been at my job for about three years now. I thought I’d just be happy in this position. I mean, I like my job and all. But I’m finding it’s getting a pretty boring. I realize I’d like a more of a challenge. But I have no idea how to figure out this career advancement process. What does it take to get a more fulfilling job? How do I even start?
Coach Joel Answers: Good question, Christopher. To help you get started on your search for career and job advancement, you need to make some decisions. These choices will help you find your direction and open the path to a better job.
1. What is your career goal? I know that might be hard to answer, as you thought you had it solved. But now, take a moment and look at what gives you satisfaction.
- Which parts of your job to you enjoy most?
- As you look around you, which jobs to other people have that you think you would enjoy doing?
- Are there salary goals you have?
- Are there certain kinds of responsibilities and actions you enjoy doing?
All of these are clues to what your career goal might be.
2. What skills will you need? After you choose a career goal, Christopher, you need to understand the skills, education, and training necessary to advance to that job. The bureau of Labor Statistics offers an Occupational Outlook Handbook that lists thousands of jobs and the criteria for them.
One additional benefit is that it predicts whether the need for that specialty will be increasing or decreasing in the coming years. As you think about your career goal and the training necessary to help you advance, this can be a good source for you.
3. Where can you find the training? Once you’ve chosen the career you want, and you know the skills you need, where will you get them? Consider looking for them exactly where you are.
- Your company may offer the training you need. It might be through mentoring or other traditional or non-structured learning at work. Especially if you’re looking to advance in your company, this is a best first choice. You’ll learn the skills most desired by your organization.
- College classes or degrees may be preferred if you are looking to move a great deal higher in your company.
- Coaching is a valuable option to hone in on skills – analytical thinking, problem solving, decision making, team building, and other skills essential for success.
4. How can you promote your job advancement? Once you know where you want to go with your career and job advancement, you need to take steps to make it happen. Assess how much help you might get from your current employer. Ask for feedback on your current job, and let them know what your goals are. They may help you work into that job. If not, hone your skills, develop your talents, and search for a job in another market.
Christopher, many people want to move ahead in their career and just aren’t sure how to get started. If you follow this plan, you can soon feel comfortable that your career and job advancement is on track to success.
For more information about how to advance your career with personalized and individualized coaching, contact Joel.
Talkback: What steps have you taken to advance your career? How did you start out?
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